


Using Your Noodle

by SmolDargon



Series: Adventures in Anatomy [11]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, anatomical discussion, drunken japes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29984151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolDargon/pseuds/SmolDargon
Summary: Hangovers are the worst. Hopefully nothing weird happened last night.
Relationships: Papyrus/Original Human Character
Series: Adventures in Anatomy [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205429
Kudos: 3





	Using Your Noodle

**Author's Note:**

> TW for drinking mentions and vomiting. You might consider this mild body horror, but it's honestly just an unfortunate anatomical quirk.

The human groaned as the sunlight hit her eyes. He head ached badly, her mouth was dry, and she felt like she might have made some poor life decisions the previous night. She rolled to get out of her bed, and immediately regretted moving as a wave of nausea struck like a slap to the face. She took a moment to collect herself, deciding that it would probably be best if she just bit the metaphorical bullet and got up entirely.

Papyrus poked his head in to check on her just in time to witness her stand up suddenly and then immediately collapse to the ground. Only his quick reflexes kept her from hitting the floor like a sack of bricks. She recovered quickly, rubbing her head and grumbling.

"HUMAN, YOU REALLY MUST STOP THESE EFFORTS TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK, YOU KNOW I LACK THE REQUISITE EQUIPMENT."

She blinked several times, the comment seeming to go in one ear and out the other.

"Stood up too quick... When did you get here?"

He stared for a moment.

"I... LIVE HERE?"

Confused, she looked around, finally coming to the realization that she was not, in fact, at home, nor had she been in her own bed. She was in Papyrus's bed, in the skeleton household.

_Wow. This is the worst hangover I have ever had._

He set her upright on his bed, telling her to wait while he fetched her some water and soup. She used the time to try and get her mind working again, regretting it as her head began hurting worse than before. Even the dimmest setting on the lamp felt like knives in her eye sockets.

The skeleton returned with a bowl of ramen--the actual good kind, not the cheap type you buy in blocks, he'd assured her--and a glass of water. Somehow, despite matching her shot for shot, he was perfectly functional. Meanwhile, she didn't often drink enough to get hungover, so she was suffering particularly badly. She was a little jealous.

He was a little worried about his human's condition, but she seemed happy to have something on her stomach. She managed to finish the meal, much to his relief. She had gotten into some downright wacky shenanigans the previous night.

She had presented the bunch with her signature "trash can punch", which was just a liter each of vodka and tequila, half a liter of everclear, and four liters of Mountain Dew Code Red. The stuff burned even to sniff, much less to actually consume. The brothers had treated it like hard liquor, only taking shots. The human had poured whole cups for herself, downing two within thirty minutes. An hour in, she was absolutely _plastered_. The brothers were, frankly, equal parts amused and horrified. It had been a fun night.

"YOU, UM.... DID SOME WEIRD STUFF LAST NIGHT."

"Hoo, boy.... how bad?"

"WELL, YOU LAID IN THE FLOOR FOR A WHILE. WE WERE TALKING, AND YOU WERE SOMEHOW COHERENT ENOUGH TO OCCASIONALLY INTERJECT WITH SOMETHING RELEVANT. THEN YOU STUMBLED TO THE BATHROOM, AND WE WERE CONCERNED YOU MIGHT NEED HELP AND WE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. LUCKILY, THAT WASN'T NECESSARY, BUT WE WORRIED. THEN, YOU CAME INTO THE KITCHEN AND INSISTED ON DOING SHOTS WITH US. WE GAVE YOU ONE, AND THEN DECIDED TO SUBSTITUTE WATER FOR SUBSEQUENT ONES. YOU DIDN'T NOTICE."

_Oh, lord. It was one of those nights._

"AT SOME POINT, YOU LAID BACK IN THE FLOOR. YOU SAT UP LOOKING RATHER PALE AND PROCEEDED TO VOMIT ON THE FLOOR. THANKFULLY, YOU PICKED THE KITCHEN FLOOR THAT TIME, AND IT WAS AN EASY CLEAN UP. YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING, BUT BETWEEN YOUR INEBRIATION AND OUR OWN, WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN APOLOGY. SANS AND 'DINGS PASSED OUT IN THE FLOOR WITH YOU, AND YOU CHUCKLED ABOUT THEM BEING EGGHEADS--

She snorted at her apparent affinity for dumb jokes.

"--I MOVED THEM TO THEIR ROOMS TO SLEEP IT OFF, AND WHEN I WENT TO MOVE YOU, YOU FLIRTED WITH ME, AND PASSED OUT FOR GOOD."

_Oh. Oh no. It's gonna be awkward now. Oh god, I'm going to have to find new friends_ . 

She blanched, looking absolutely mortified. She took a page from the Papyrus Playbook, and went to throw herself from the window in shame. He just turned her blue and pulled her back onto the bed. He was rather amused at the effort.

"Dammit, Paps, I'm sorry... This is why I drink alone. I do dumb shit when I drink."

She certainly seemed upset about this turn of events. He could sense an almost suffocating level of shame in her soul; clearly this ran deeper than just a minor social infraction. Perhaps he should distract her.

"WHAT DID YOU MEAN, YOU STOOD UP TOO FAST?"

She paused for a moment, distracted by the question.

"Orthostatic hypotension."

"WOWIE, THAT'S A MOUTHFUL. THAT SOUNDS VERY MUCH LIKE A SCIENCE. CAN YOU DO AN EXPLAIN?"

Despite herself, she smiled as she launched into a brief overview of the problem.

"Gravity affects blood, too. If we stay horizontal for a while, our blood pressure drops. Not a problem, normally. But if we sit up suddenly, especially if we are dehydrated or something, suddenly that pressure isn't enough to get blood up our neck and into our brain. It results in a brief, temporary blackout and, in more extreme cases, fainting, like what you saw just then. It resolves itself, thankfully, but it can be disconcerting."

He nodded, digesting the information. He wasn't entirely sure she was ready to discuss his actual concerns, but he figured it was now or never.

"... DID YOU MEAN IT?"

She glanced up at him in confusion.

"Did I mean what?"

"THE FLIRTING. I KNOW YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID EXACTLY, BUT... IS THE SENTIMENT STILL THE SAME WHEN YOU'RE SOBER?"

_Oh. Oh my god. Of course it is, but I can't handle a rejection. I'd never be able to show my face around here again._

She turned bright red, looking anywhere but at his face. Her anxiety was getting pretty intense. So intense, in fact, that the nausea that had been creeping up on her suddenly struck like a freight train to the guts. Instinctively, she grabbed the small wastebasket from the bedside, and vomited.

_Wow. This is the absolute worst timing ever._

He just patted her back, thanking his lucky stars her hair was already pinned up. She seemed to be having a hard enough time keeping the bin steady. She finally got it out of her system, and was eerily silent for a long moment.

"So, um.... the truth is, I did mean it. The flirting. I've thought about it for a long while, and just haven't had the nerve to speak up."

"IF YOU WERE WORRIED I'D SAY NO, YOU NEEDN'T HAVE BEEN. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WORK UP THE COURAGE TO ASK YOU OUT MYSELF!"

She chuckled, "That works out nicely, then, doesn't it?"

They shared a quiet laugh. But he wondered why she was suddenly so willing to talk... and why she had yet to remove her face from the bin.

"ARE... YOU ALRIGHT? IF YOU'RE STILL NAUSEOUS, MAYBE YOU SHOULD MOVE TO THE BATHROOM."

She tensed.

"Um... actually, I need your help with something... Can you bring some paper towels or something?"

"OH! OF COURSE!"

He reached over her to the nightstand, retrieving a box of tissues. She held a hand out for one, still keeping her head in the trash can. Then, realizing it was a two-hand job, she sighed heavily.

"Look, this is really gross and embarrassing, can you maybe just... not look?"

He had to admit, his curiosity had been piqued, and he wondered why she was hiding her face still.

"DON'T WORRY, I STILL THINK YOU'RE CUTE! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE HUNGOVER."

"I don't think you're going to be saying that in a minute... "

But she did finally put the can down, and he was both amused and horrified at what he saw. Her ramen had come back to haunt her. She had a couple of actual noodles hanging out of her nose.

"...... HOW. HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?"

She cleaned herself up before offering an explanation.

"The nasal and oral cavities are connected... Don't take this personally, but I'm going to be sneezing out noodles all day. I promise it's not your cooking. I'm just really nauseous."

He couldn't help but snicker at her predicament. It was a compromising position for her, certainly, but it was also one of the funniest and strangest malfunctions he had ever encountered in her strange human body.

"YOU WERE WORRIED I'D IMMEDIATELY DUMP YOU BECAUSE YOU SNORTED NOODLES? HUMAN, I'M INSULTED YOU THINK SO LITTLE OF ME."

He spoke with an air of amusement, offering a comforting arm around her shoulder. She seemed to feel a little better about the situation.


End file.
